They say pregnancy brings strange dreams and boy I've had 'em all! I tend to have recurrent locales - there's the same high school, same university, and 2 different cities I visit. But I've always had that but now there's a recurrent theme. MAPS. And, I think the point is very clear.
Sometimes I'm just driving for work and I need to get to a small town here in Louisiana, so I draw out my route on a map. Then sometimes I need to cross the state line and go into Arkansas or Texas. On those trips I have to use a bigger map and there are a few routes that I have to decide which one is the best. Then I have to go all across the Southern or the Northern part of the country. Again I have to pick my route and I'm always torn between the route with the major roads or the route with the more direct, less traveled route. Then there are the trips around the world - city to city, going through Mexico, going through Italy, and the list goes on. In all of these dreams I think I know best way but I constantly look at the map double-checking myself.
In the last week my dreams have changed just a little bit. I'm still looking at the map, but this time I'm confident in where I'm going. I'm able to make up my mind and I don't think twice about where I'm going and how I'm getting there.
Friday, July 31, 2009
First Dream about the Kids
Last night, for the first time, I had a dream about giving birth and my babies. In a nut shell (because what's more annoying than listening to some one else's dreams), I was checked into the hospital and started noticing that I could seemore definition when the kids moved around. If they pressed their hands or feet against my belly it was like they were pressing against a balloon. You could easily see the palm, fingers and toes as they pushed, and my skin would stretch so thin!
Well Nugget, seemed to eventually poke a hole through my belly and crawled out into the big world and Peach followed shortly after. Both babies were so sweet and affectionate and all they wanted to do was snuggle. The kids were also just beautiful. They looked very similar to each other (which I was very suprised about) - they both had darker skin tones and full heads of jet black hair. I was dying to know their eye colors.
As much as I wanted to snuggle up to them, I kept telling them to get back inside but they insisted on staying in the outside world. In the meantime I was franticly trying to locate Mark at work to let him know the kids were here (which was not an easy task). Eventually we gave up and decided to let them stay.
I woke up so excited. Right now my anticipation is such a oxymoron. I can't wait to see them and meet them and hug them and hold them. But at the same time I so desperately want them to stay inside as long as possible and I have to force myself to be paitent. So kids, if you're listening, sit back and relax. Your Dad and I can't wait to hug and kiss you, but it will be so much easier if you don't have to be hooked up to any machines. Take your sweet time in there!
(P.S. There was also an abundance of people coming to visit me in the hospital and bring me cereal. I was so grateful!)
Well Nugget, seemed to eventually poke a hole through my belly and crawled out into the big world and Peach followed shortly after. Both babies were so sweet and affectionate and all they wanted to do was snuggle. The kids were also just beautiful. They looked very similar to each other (which I was very suprised about) - they both had darker skin tones and full heads of jet black hair. I was dying to know their eye colors.
As much as I wanted to snuggle up to them, I kept telling them to get back inside but they insisted on staying in the outside world. In the meantime I was franticly trying to locate Mark at work to let him know the kids were here (which was not an easy task). Eventually we gave up and decided to let them stay.
I woke up so excited. Right now my anticipation is such a oxymoron. I can't wait to see them and meet them and hug them and hold them. But at the same time I so desperately want them to stay inside as long as possible and I have to force myself to be paitent. So kids, if you're listening, sit back and relax. Your Dad and I can't wait to hug and kiss you, but it will be so much easier if you don't have to be hooked up to any machines. Take your sweet time in there!
(P.S. There was also an abundance of people coming to visit me in the hospital and bring me cereal. I was so grateful!)
Monday, July 27, 2009
Hospital Visit
Last Thursday we had a slight change of plans that wasn't too unexpected, I was admitted to Willis Knighton Pierremont Hospital and am currently staying for an unknown period of time. And, to put your mind at rest, the babies and I are doing very well - we are just staying here at the hospital for now as a precaution. I'll try to fill you in without getting to bogged down in medical details.
Just over a week ago I went to the specialist who reported that the kids looked perfect (almost 2 lbs each, both are exactly the same size). He was a little concerned about me since my cervix (the barrier holding the kids in - first it thins out, then it dilates to allow the baby a way into the big world). My cervix had thinned out way faster than it should have at this point but he wasn't too concerned, said to just continue the partial bed rest as I had been and then to start seeing my OB Dr every week.
Last Thursday I went for my regular OB Dr appointment and they saw the kids and said everything looks just great. Then they looked at my cervix and it had thinned out even more over that week. She was very concerned about it thinning to the point of being a risk to the kids. She sent me directly to the hospital to check in and start monitoring the kids and my contractions. Fortunately Mom was with me that day to help me get settled in.
Over the next 24 hours the monitors picked up some contractions, but nothing regular enough to be worried about. They put me on some medication to relax my uterus and slow down the contractions, which has been helping and since then they've upped my dose to make a bigger impact. They also rechecked my cervix which managed to thicken over the 24 hours, my Dr was very happy about that. She initially thought I was in the direction of home-bound bed rest - as long as one more test came back with good results.
That one more test (FFN Test) is the kind of test doctors use as a tie-breaker. If you get a negative result then you're most likely continue to carry out your pregnancy as expected. If you get a positive result there's a slim chance you might deliver early. There are lots of reasons for a positive, including false positives, which don't exactly mean you will deliver early. I, unfortunately got a positive result. Typically if your doctor is very concerned they'll put you on a slew of medications to prevent early labor and prep the babies. My doctor (who is very cautious) did not put me on any of those meds. She just wants to make sure I'm doing well enough to go home so she kept me in the hospital for further monitoring.
In the mean time, I was at the point in pregnancy where every woman has to take the Gestational Diabetes test so my Dr had me take on Saturday morning. When she came in Saturday with the results we were both shocked to learn I was way over the normal range. She scheduled me to take the big 3 hour test the next morning. At this test I have to be normal in 3 out of 4 readings to be considered clear. I, of course, was just over the limit on 2 of the readings. She is not concerned at all about my health or the babies health with this new diagnosis. The biggest thing is I just have to track my diet and take my blood sugar 4 times each day through the end of pregnancy. I figure God gave this to me for a distraction while I'm in the hospital. (Mark and I are actually hoping we get the "side effect" of a larger baby at birth so our kids can beef up a little bit!)
I just saw my Dr today and she said we'll redo the FFN test on Friday. If I get a negative result I can go home for bed rest, if I get a positive I'll stay here longer. Everyone seems very upbeat and shows no immediate concern of anything happening too soon with the babies. I'm doing all I can to relax and make the most of the quiet time here, and training myself for when I get home and have to be on real bed rest! I'm getting such good care here at the hospital everyone is a little bit torn on the good news to go home versus getting to stay here. There's one exception, I do know Cooper Dog is ready for me to come home, even if it is just to watch me lay on the couch and not have playtime.
Just over a week ago I went to the specialist who reported that the kids looked perfect (almost 2 lbs each, both are exactly the same size). He was a little concerned about me since my cervix (the barrier holding the kids in - first it thins out, then it dilates to allow the baby a way into the big world). My cervix had thinned out way faster than it should have at this point but he wasn't too concerned, said to just continue the partial bed rest as I had been and then to start seeing my OB Dr every week.
Last Thursday I went for my regular OB Dr appointment and they saw the kids and said everything looks just great. Then they looked at my cervix and it had thinned out even more over that week. She was very concerned about it thinning to the point of being a risk to the kids. She sent me directly to the hospital to check in and start monitoring the kids and my contractions. Fortunately Mom was with me that day to help me get settled in.
Over the next 24 hours the monitors picked up some contractions, but nothing regular enough to be worried about. They put me on some medication to relax my uterus and slow down the contractions, which has been helping and since then they've upped my dose to make a bigger impact. They also rechecked my cervix which managed to thicken over the 24 hours, my Dr was very happy about that. She initially thought I was in the direction of home-bound bed rest - as long as one more test came back with good results.
That one more test (FFN Test) is the kind of test doctors use as a tie-breaker. If you get a negative result then you're most likely continue to carry out your pregnancy as expected. If you get a positive result there's a slim chance you might deliver early. There are lots of reasons for a positive, including false positives, which don't exactly mean you will deliver early. I, unfortunately got a positive result. Typically if your doctor is very concerned they'll put you on a slew of medications to prevent early labor and prep the babies. My doctor (who is very cautious) did not put me on any of those meds. She just wants to make sure I'm doing well enough to go home so she kept me in the hospital for further monitoring.
In the mean time, I was at the point in pregnancy where every woman has to take the Gestational Diabetes test so my Dr had me take on Saturday morning. When she came in Saturday with the results we were both shocked to learn I was way over the normal range. She scheduled me to take the big 3 hour test the next morning. At this test I have to be normal in 3 out of 4 readings to be considered clear. I, of course, was just over the limit on 2 of the readings. She is not concerned at all about my health or the babies health with this new diagnosis. The biggest thing is I just have to track my diet and take my blood sugar 4 times each day through the end of pregnancy. I figure God gave this to me for a distraction while I'm in the hospital. (Mark and I are actually hoping we get the "side effect" of a larger baby at birth so our kids can beef up a little bit!)
I just saw my Dr today and she said we'll redo the FFN test on Friday. If I get a negative result I can go home for bed rest, if I get a positive I'll stay here longer. Everyone seems very upbeat and shows no immediate concern of anything happening too soon with the babies. I'm doing all I can to relax and make the most of the quiet time here, and training myself for when I get home and have to be on real bed rest! I'm getting such good care here at the hospital everyone is a little bit torn on the good news to go home versus getting to stay here. There's one exception, I do know Cooper Dog is ready for me to come home, even if it is just to watch me lay on the couch and not have playtime.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Birthing Class
Six hours of birthing class and I learned a few helpful things, but really I walked away with some concern for the leaders of Louisiana. Our teacher was a nurse who loves teaching, is very enthusiastic, and leads about 3 different classes every week. So, she obviously has her verbiage down, right?
Mark & I knew we had a great teacher when she was giving us details on the cerbix (aka cervix), explaining the ministral cycle (aka menstrual), and notified us that we will excretiate the mucus plug (aka excrete). I was also a little concerned when words were written in big letters across the screen and she still had trouble with them, such as L-A-N-U-G-O, which was "lango" in the lecture.
If I wanted to be mean I'd linger on some interesting turns of phrase such as those that came up when discussing medication during the birthing process - such as the two basic options of having a epidural or non-medication free, also known as medicated or non-medicated; or just having medication that allows you to feel the contractions, just not that vagina part. She also went into great detail about making a nice environment in the delivery room through aroma but explained why candles, lotions and sprays are a bad idea - instead you need one of those vile aroma smells. It seems to me that might be a bad idea, but she's the pro. But, I'm not mean so I won't linger on those topics.
In it's own brief realm is the concept of math, of which I just assumed nurses had a basic understanding. When trying to explain the size of an epidural bag she wasn't sure how big it was, but she did feel very confident it was "half the size of a two-liter bottle of coke, what ever size that is." I guess you can take the girl out of Louisiana education, but you can't take the Louisiana education out of the girl.
Finally, the creme de la creme, what we all think of when we think of birthing class - relaxation & breathing. She had some great tips on exactly how to get yourself in the right mindset. For relaxation she showed us a beach scene from clip art circa 1992 and explained, "This is my peaceful place. I love the beach. Notice there are no people, I don't like people on my beach - they talk too loud, listen to loud music, the kids scream - I want it to be quiet. I also don't want any big waves on my beach, so these waves are small. I hate big waves anyway since they knock you down and that can hurt, and they're too loud. I also don't have to wear sunblock on this beach. I hate sunblock- it's sticky and feels bad on my skin and I hate how it smells. And the sand on my beach is soft. I hate walking on rocky sand, that really hurts my feet." Well you get the idea - relaxation through thinking of all the things that could ruin your relaxation.
The other thing that goes hand-in-hand with relaxing is breathing, she had some great suggestions there too. We concentrated on two kinds of breaths - the cleansing breath and the slow, deep breath. To understand a cleansing breath she painted a great picture (again reflecting the guidelines of visualisation), "For a deep cleansing breath imagine you just screwed up real bad at work and even you can't deny it. And your boss is really ticked off and he's comin for you. He's about to give you a real big chewin'. You're real scared about what he's gonna say and you don't wanna face him but you gotta. So as your walking up to his office, and all you really wanna do is run and hide, and your put your hand on the door, well that's where you're gonna wanna take a cleansing breath."
"For the slow, deep breath that's what you're doin' while you're getting chewed. And you gotta keep that slow, deep breath goin 'cause as you get yelled at all you wanna do is tell him off. You've got all those years of frustration that you're tryin' not to let out but you know he deserves a good tellin' off. But instead you just keep it all inside." Inspiring. Truly inspiring.
Thanks to this class, we've been armed with invaluable information, knowledge and now skill. Our instructor painted such a vivid picture that Mark can help guide me in breathing and I understand exactly where he's trying to take me. Regardless, with all of this, for some reason Mark and I are still strongly considering driving across the state line to deliver these babies.
Mark & I knew we had a great teacher when she was giving us details on the cerbix (aka cervix), explaining the ministral cycle (aka menstrual), and notified us that we will excretiate the mucus plug (aka excrete). I was also a little concerned when words were written in big letters across the screen and she still had trouble with them, such as L-A-N-U-G-O, which was "lango" in the lecture.
If I wanted to be mean I'd linger on some interesting turns of phrase such as those that came up when discussing medication during the birthing process - such as the two basic options of having a epidural or non-medication free, also known as medicated or non-medicated; or just having medication that allows you to feel the contractions, just not that vagina part. She also went into great detail about making a nice environment in the delivery room through aroma but explained why candles, lotions and sprays are a bad idea - instead you need one of those vile aroma smells. It seems to me that might be a bad idea, but she's the pro. But, I'm not mean so I won't linger on those topics.
In it's own brief realm is the concept of math, of which I just assumed nurses had a basic understanding. When trying to explain the size of an epidural bag she wasn't sure how big it was, but she did feel very confident it was "half the size of a two-liter bottle of coke, what ever size that is." I guess you can take the girl out of Louisiana education, but you can't take the Louisiana education out of the girl.
Finally, the creme de la creme, what we all think of when we think of birthing class - relaxation & breathing. She had some great tips on exactly how to get yourself in the right mindset. For relaxation she showed us a beach scene from clip art circa 1992 and explained, "This is my peaceful place. I love the beach. Notice there are no people, I don't like people on my beach - they talk too loud, listen to loud music, the kids scream - I want it to be quiet. I also don't want any big waves on my beach, so these waves are small. I hate big waves anyway since they knock you down and that can hurt, and they're too loud. I also don't have to wear sunblock on this beach. I hate sunblock- it's sticky and feels bad on my skin and I hate how it smells. And the sand on my beach is soft. I hate walking on rocky sand, that really hurts my feet." Well you get the idea - relaxation through thinking of all the things that could ruin your relaxation.
The other thing that goes hand-in-hand with relaxing is breathing, she had some great suggestions there too. We concentrated on two kinds of breaths - the cleansing breath and the slow, deep breath. To understand a cleansing breath she painted a great picture (again reflecting the guidelines of visualisation), "For a deep cleansing breath imagine you just screwed up real bad at work and even you can't deny it. And your boss is really ticked off and he's comin for you. He's about to give you a real big chewin'. You're real scared about what he's gonna say and you don't wanna face him but you gotta. So as your walking up to his office, and all you really wanna do is run and hide, and your put your hand on the door, well that's where you're gonna wanna take a cleansing breath."
"For the slow, deep breath that's what you're doin' while you're getting chewed. And you gotta keep that slow, deep breath goin 'cause as you get yelled at all you wanna do is tell him off. You've got all those years of frustration that you're tryin' not to let out but you know he deserves a good tellin' off. But instead you just keep it all inside." Inspiring. Truly inspiring.
Thanks to this class, we've been armed with invaluable information, knowledge and now skill. Our instructor painted such a vivid picture that Mark can help guide me in breathing and I understand exactly where he's trying to take me. Regardless, with all of this, for some reason Mark and I are still strongly considering driving across the state line to deliver these babies.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
dreams
They say pregnancy brings strange dreams and boy I've had 'em all! I tend to have recurrent locales - there's the same high school, same university, and 2 different cities I visit. But I've always had that but now there's a recurrent theme. MAPS. And, I think the point is very clear.
Sometimes I'm just driving for work and I need to get to a small town here in Louisiana, so I draw out my route on a map. Then sometimes I need to cross the state line and go into Arkansas or Texas. On those trips I have to use a bigger map and there are a few routes that I have to decide which one is the best. Then I have to go all across the Southern or the Northern part of the country. Again I have to pick my route and I'm always torn between the route with the major roads or the route with the more direct, less traveled route. Then there are the trips around the world - city to city, going through Mexico, going through Italy, and the list goes on. In all of these dreams I think I know best way but I constantly look at the map double-checking myself.
In the last week my dreams have changed just a little bit. I'm still looking at the map, but this time I'm confident in where I'm going. I'm able to make up my mind and I don't think twice about where I'm going and how I'm getting there.
Sometimes I'm just driving for work and I need to get to a small town here in Louisiana, so I draw out my route on a map. Then sometimes I need to cross the state line and go into Arkansas or Texas. On those trips I have to use a bigger map and there are a few routes that I have to decide which one is the best. Then I have to go all across the Southern or the Northern part of the country. Again I have to pick my route and I'm always torn between the route with the major roads or the route with the more direct, less traveled route. Then there are the trips around the world - city to city, going through Mexico, going through Italy, and the list goes on. In all of these dreams I think I know best way but I constantly look at the map double-checking myself.
In the last week my dreams have changed just a little bit. I'm still looking at the map, but this time I'm confident in where I'm going. I'm able to make up my mind and I don't think twice about where I'm going and how I'm getting there.
July 4th, 2009 - Family Picture
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Sleeping
So, as a pregnant lady, sleeping is a very big deal. My sleeping has been a source of fascination. My insomnia, my bat ears, my pea-sized bladder, my pillows - they are true entertainment in my household.
Starting from the very beginning, after we conceived but before we knew, I had big red waving flags. For the first time in my life I started waking up to pee every night, and not just once. Since that first night, when our little embryo's were still just a guess to us, I've been waking up every single night. I like to play a little game with myself and see just how long I can make it before my first pee. If it's an hour after lights out, I've lost. If I last 3 or 4 hours, I win! I guess my my gold medal prize will ultimately be the same thing as my consolation prize... waking up in a few months to feed two little babies!
Early in the pregnancy I was going across the hallway so I wouldn't wake up Mark during my frequent pee-runs. But, considering I would freak myself out every night looking down the hallway (too many ghost shows!), I decided that Mark would just have to deal with the noise of a sliding bathroom door attached to the bedroom. Now I roll (literally) off the side of the bed, take 4 steps (hoping none of them are on Cooper's head) to the bathroom. Fortunately there are no images that conjure thoughts of ghostly TV shows past. Less importantly, Mark is a great sleeper and doesn't budge. Neither does Cooper (except the one time I closed his head in the sliding door).
Speaking of Cooper, he has proven to me that I will not get a lot of use out of a baby monitor. When ever he gets up I hear the pitter-patter of his paws and I'm wide awake. I hear him whimper at the dog door when I accidentally leave laundry near his landing path. I hear him paw at his food bowl if he gets the late-night munchies. I hear all his nocturnal adventures and I can't go back to sleep until he's soundly back in his bed. I guarantee you that the more I try to ignore it and sleep through it, the more demanding he gets until I have to get out of bed to tend to what ever the issue is for the night. Isn't that sweet of little Cooper to prep me for motherhood! In fact there's a mosquito I need to thank also. One little persistent mosquito managed to keep me awake all night - not Cooper or my bladder, but the muted buzz of a mosquito.
Lastly who would have thought that something as simple as pillows would play such a big part of pregnancy life. At first there were just 2 pillows I needed. Then a friend gave the mother of all pregnancy pillows - it's U-shaped and takes up half the bed. I decided it would be good to have in a spare bed to use during the day. I just couldn't bring myself to sleep with it in bed, it was not conducive to spooning. Well then I started using 3 pillows (added on between my legs), then 4 (behind my back), then 6 (more for my head), and then someone suggested I put 2 under my feet and one in between my feet. That was a total of NINE pillows. Well, I challenge any of you to strap a bowling ball to your stomach and situate 9 pillows round your body in the middle of the night. I gave the monster pregnancy pillow a try and now I'm back down to three pillows (kind of). So Mark, laughing at my pillow collection by, on and around the bed, decided to play a joke on me last night. After washing my face I came to be to find EVERY pillow in the house piled on my side of the bed under the covers. Yes, even the throw pillows from the couch. I laughed so hard I almost had a major accident (see paragraph two). So even in the most mundane of tasks, as annoying and frustrating it can be, my Mark can still bring sheer joy to the moment. These kids are so lucky!!!
Starting from the very beginning, after we conceived but before we knew, I had big red waving flags. For the first time in my life I started waking up to pee every night, and not just once. Since that first night, when our little embryo's were still just a guess to us, I've been waking up every single night. I like to play a little game with myself and see just how long I can make it before my first pee. If it's an hour after lights out, I've lost. If I last 3 or 4 hours, I win! I guess my my gold medal prize will ultimately be the same thing as my consolation prize... waking up in a few months to feed two little babies!
Early in the pregnancy I was going across the hallway so I wouldn't wake up Mark during my frequent pee-runs. But, considering I would freak myself out every night looking down the hallway (too many ghost shows!), I decided that Mark would just have to deal with the noise of a sliding bathroom door attached to the bedroom. Now I roll (literally) off the side of the bed, take 4 steps (hoping none of them are on Cooper's head) to the bathroom. Fortunately there are no images that conjure thoughts of ghostly TV shows past. Less importantly, Mark is a great sleeper and doesn't budge. Neither does Cooper (except the one time I closed his head in the sliding door).
Speaking of Cooper, he has proven to me that I will not get a lot of use out of a baby monitor. When ever he gets up I hear the pitter-patter of his paws and I'm wide awake. I hear him whimper at the dog door when I accidentally leave laundry near his landing path. I hear him paw at his food bowl if he gets the late-night munchies. I hear all his nocturnal adventures and I can't go back to sleep until he's soundly back in his bed. I guarantee you that the more I try to ignore it and sleep through it, the more demanding he gets until I have to get out of bed to tend to what ever the issue is for the night. Isn't that sweet of little Cooper to prep me for motherhood! In fact there's a mosquito I need to thank also. One little persistent mosquito managed to keep me awake all night - not Cooper or my bladder, but the muted buzz of a mosquito.
Lastly who would have thought that something as simple as pillows would play such a big part of pregnancy life. At first there were just 2 pillows I needed. Then a friend gave the mother of all pregnancy pillows - it's U-shaped and takes up half the bed. I decided it would be good to have in a spare bed to use during the day. I just couldn't bring myself to sleep with it in bed, it was not conducive to spooning. Well then I started using 3 pillows (added on between my legs), then 4 (behind my back), then 6 (more for my head), and then someone suggested I put 2 under my feet and one in between my feet. That was a total of NINE pillows. Well, I challenge any of you to strap a bowling ball to your stomach and situate 9 pillows round your body in the middle of the night. I gave the monster pregnancy pillow a try and now I'm back down to three pillows (kind of). So Mark, laughing at my pillow collection by, on and around the bed, decided to play a joke on me last night. After washing my face I came to be to find EVERY pillow in the house piled on my side of the bed under the covers. Yes, even the throw pillows from the couch. I laughed so hard I almost had a major accident (see paragraph two). So even in the most mundane of tasks, as annoying and frustrating it can be, my Mark can still bring sheer joy to the moment. These kids are so lucky!!!
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